


Brothers by Name, Not by Blood

by Peridot_Panda



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Depressed Loki (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Self-Harm, Suicidal Loki, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-11 17:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17451650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peridot_Panda/pseuds/Peridot_Panda
Summary: What if Thor had managed to stop Loki after taking him from the Quinjet before he could try and take over New York.Thor manages to bond with Loki and help him through his thoughts regarding his suicide attempt at the Bifrost.TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR ATTEMPTED SUICIDE/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SELF-HARM.





	1. Just in Time?

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be very short, but more will be coming.

Just in Time?

Natasha, Tony, and Steve were in the Quinjet on their way back to the helicarrier after capturing Loki in Stuttgart. Loki had been sat silently the whole journey and had shown no signs of reaction to anything, whether directed at him or not. It was Steve who had noticed a sudden change when there was a bright flash followed by a loud roar of thunder. 

“Where’s this coming from?” asked Natasha confused by the sudden onset of the stormy weather. She prided herself on being a competent pilot and she didn't want a freak storm to ruin her reputation.

Loki leaned forward and looked around. Thunder and lightning could only mean one thing and he really wasn't in the mood for that right now, but it looked like he had no choice. 

“What’s the matter? Scared of a little lightning?” Steve asked Loki, noticing his discomfort. Loki looked at Steve with a hint of worry in his eyes. 

“I’m not overly fond of what follows.” he replied looking up to the sky. There was a crash on top of the quinjet. Something had landed on top. The sound of something moving around on the jet momentarily stopped.

Tony, Steve, and Natasha looked up, shocked. The Quinjet jolted at the weight of what landed on top. They saw a shadowy figure holding onto the quinjet. Natasha sped up and Steve ran for his cowl. Tony grabbed his helmet which attached itself to the suit in preparation for what was coming. Tony pushed a button and opened the ramp of the jet. He stood poised ready to fight what had attacked the jet.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked Tony quickly.

Thor entered the quinjet, jumping down on the ramp. He hit Tony away, causing him to fall onto Steve. Thor grabbed Loki by the neck and jumped out of the plane with him, leaving the others behind.

Tony flew out of the jet following the path that Thor took while Steve put on a parachute ready to jump out after them.


	2. Lies and Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lot longer than the first chapter, so enjoy!
> 
> warnings for talk about attempted suicide and torture.

Lies and Truth

Thor and Loki crashed down on a cliff in the middle of nowhere, flying a long way down from the Quinjet above the clouds. Thor threw Loki to the ground and he hit his head hard, he groaned. Thor dropped Mjolnir, and pulled Loki to his feet. Loki had already dropped the scepter some distance away and realised he was no longer under the control of The Other. His thoughts were once again, his own.

“I thought you dead, brother.” Thor said looking his younger brother in the eye. It had been months since Thor last saw Loki falling deep into space and undetected from Heimdall’s mighty gaze. 

“Did you mourn?” Came the reply, mockingly. Thor was the last person that Loki wanted to see at the moment, well and Odin of course but Loki figured that Odin didn’t care enough care about him enough to bother searching for his body.

“We all did. Our father” 

“Your father.” Loki interrupted. “He did tell you my true parentage, did he not?” Loki snarled looking up at Thor as he started to pace around.

“We were raised together, we played together, we fought together. Do you remember none of that?” He tried, desperately hoping he could get his brother back.

A metallic crash filled the air as Tony landed next to the brothers. He lifted his faceplate to show his face. It was easier to talk without it. “What the hell are you doing with my stuff?” He asked the tall, blonde Asgardian. He stood in a defensive stance with his hand raised ready to shoot.

Thor put his hand up towards Tony to delay the questioning. “Not now Man of Iron.” He said turning back towards Loki. “Brother, please.” He begged.

“I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER!” shouted the younger prince. He continued in a calmer manner. “I do not wish to discuss this at this time, Odinson.”

Tony stayed where was is hoping to gain more information from the conversation between the squabbling brothers, curious as to what could be so important.

“Please Loki. I just want to know why?” the older one tried.

Loki met Thor’s gaze and was about to speak before another crash came from behind Tony. It was Steve. He got up and removed his parachute before standing next to Tony.

“What are you doing Tony? You need to bring him back.” Steve was mildly annoyed at the delay. Tony stopped him from getting any closer to the two gods.

“No don’t.” Tony lowered his voice to Cap. “This could provide more information.” he said focusing his attention back on the other men.   
Loki’s gaze returned to Thor. 

“Why what Thor? What do you want from me?” 

“You’re still alive, brother. After all this time we thought you to be gone. Do you not remember what it used to be like before all of this?” Thor tried to understand what had happened to his brother.

“I remember you tossing me into an abyss.” Loki knew this was a lie, but he wasn't expecting Thor to correct him.

“Brother, please. You let go of Gungnir yourself. You knew that if you fell into that abyss, you would certainly die and you still let go.” Thor sounded upset.

“You want me to apologise for that? To be sorry for leaving you alone on Asgard? To be sorry for letting you think me dead? To be sorry for feeling like the only option I had left was to kill myself?” Loki’s voice cracked at the end of the sentence, tears forming in his eyes. “Father must be so mad that his political plans are ruined now.”

Tony and Cap looked at each other sadly. Tony watched intently, understanding what it was like to feel how Loki does.

“I did not mean it like that brother and I apologise. To be truthful, the only thing father has told me about your parentage is that you are adopted and not of Asgard, he did not elaborate further. When I returned from my banishment, you were there at the Bifrost trying to destroy a whole race. I understand now that you were just trying to do as I did and make father proud of you.” It clicked in Thor's mind what his brother's intentions were before he ended up here and he felt disappointed in himself for being a bad role model when he knew how much Loki had always looked up to him. Looking back, he could see that their father had never shown any form of pride towards Loki.

“He wasn’t though was he.” Loki was bitter. “He never has been. I was hanging off the edge, over the abyss and he told me I still wasn’t good enough.” His bitterness faded and sadness was all that remained. “How was I ever supposed to return knowing that I had been lied to my entire life about my parentage and that I would never be your equal. He never was and never will be proud of me.” it was too late now. He had already told Thor more than he wanted to but he knew that Thor wouldn't let the subject drop.

“Loki, brother, what father said at the Bifrost was unforgivable. Whether he is your real father or not, he took you in, he raised you and no father should ever say things like that to their child. I'm truly sorry that you didn't feel like you could tell me that you were feeling like this. Brother, know that I would never have mocked your feelings or loved you any less. You will not consider coming home?” He tried to reassure his brother in the hopes that he can understand what has happened.

“No. I cannot return to Asgard but I cannot stay here. I am not safe here on Midgard. He has gone for now but I have failed. He will find me and I don't want to go through that again.” the memories of tortured plagued the young prince's mind.

“Who brother? What happened.” He needed to know who would hurt his brother like this.

“Thanos. He captured me after the Bifrost. I was imprisoned and tortured. That scepter.” He pointed to behind Cap and Tony where the scepter lay. “It knows my fears and hates. It thrives off them. I cannot control my thoughts or actions when he is in my mind. When you threw me to the ground I hit my head quite hard.” Loki started to explain.

“I have injured you?” Thor jumped in, concerned.

“No, he has been removed from my mind. But I remember everything that I have done under his control. Those men that he made me use the scepter on. They may need to experience a similar injury. Or not because I am no longer under the control of the scepter myself. I don’t know and I do not care to find out.” Loki paced closer to the edge of the cliff they were stood on and peered over the edge. “I can’t do it again.” The thoughts of returning to the hands of Thanos were not pleasant. Steve took a step closer to Loki.

“Loki…. please, step away from the edge.” Thor said in a calm tone. He was worried that he would have to witness his brother try again. The other three men shared a concerned glance between them. 

Loki turned and looked towards Thor sadly. “Do not be concerned brother, I am not going to jump off. Not that a fall from this height would kill me anyway.” That probably wasn't the most reassuring thing he could have said to his brother, but would have to do.

Tony stepped forward to offer some support. “Look, imma make a deal with you. Fury wants you captured and punished for what you did in Germany. If you agree to come back to the jet with us and talk to Dr Banner, then I will have a nice chat with Fury about what has happened because I know that you don’t deserve to be punished for this. Okay?” Tony tried to make it sound as positive as possible, knowing from experience what it was like to be tortured.

“I will accept your most gracious offer, metal man, though I do not see why I need to see your doctor.” 

“Brother, you have been through a lot since I last saw you. We would like to make sure that you are not seriously injured.” Thor reached out to place a reassuring touch on Loki’s forearm, but the younger one quickly withdrew.

“Please don’t.” He said quietly. “I will see your doctor if it makes you happy, but I do not wish for you to be present, brother. I do not wish for you to see what they have done to me.” There are things he doesn't want Thor to know about just yet.

“As you wish.” Thor replied, hiding his sadness to make his brother feel more comfortable.

“Cool. If we’re all agreed let's get off.” Tony said clapping his metal-clad hands together. Tony called for Natasha to land the Quinjet nearby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave any more story suggestions in the comments and I'll see what I can do :)


	3. Pained Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, enjoy   
> trigger warnings still apply

Pained Past

“Am I taking us to the helicarrier?” Natasha asked Cap as they closed the ramp after everyone had sat down comfortably.

“Yeah. we have a lot of talking to do with Fury and Banner.” Cap said sitting down next to Tony. Sitting opposite them was Thor and Loki. Feeling regretful about what happened the last time they saw each other, Loki started talking to Thor.

“I am sorry for disgracing your name on Asgard, brother, but I didn't know what else to do.” Loki said sadly glancing towards Thor.

“You need not apologise, brother, to me, your actions were not those of cowardice.”

“Wait. Where you’re from, trying to take your life is considered cowardly?” Cap asked confused. He knew people had similar opinions in the ’40s but he was taught not to judge people who were struggling. He was unaware that there were still people that thought a similar way.

“Yes. Asgard is home to a race of warriors. We are expected to meet our end in battle, honourably, not by one’s own hand. By doing this I have brought shame to the house of Odin and more importantly, the royal family and that is unforgivable.” Loki looked down at his hands to avoid eye contact.

Tony spoke this time. “So, you trying to off yourself brought shame to the royal family? Harsh place you live.” He with disbelief in his voice. 

“Yes?” Loki replied looking confused. “Considering I used to be part of said royal family.”  
Tony looked hesitant. He didn't know whether to believe it or not before Thor spoke. Was he really royal or will he be exposed once again Tony wondered internally. 

“Brother, do not speak like that. You are as much a prince now as you were before, blood-related to me or not. You will always be my brother, therefore you will always be a prince.” Thor said taking his brother's hand in his own. 

Loki shook his head. “Not if Asgard finds out the truth. They will never see me as a prince. You don't understand Thor. 

“just because you are not of Asgard, it doesn't mean that everyone will hate you, brother.”

Loki whispered almost inaudibly. “I'm a Jötunn.”

“What?”

“when we first went to Jötunheim a frost giant grabbed my arm. It turned blue and had raised markings on it. When we got back I went into the vaults to find the Casket of Ancient Winters. My whole form changed, Odin found me and eventually told me the truth.” Loki had tears running down his face. Whispering once more he said, “I'm Laufey's son.”

“Laufey's Son?” Thor couldn't hide the shock in his voice. “Brother, I am so sorry. I should never have taken you to Jötunheim that day and should never have encouraged you to kill your own father.” Thor looked defeated. 

“You weren't to know brother. Asgard and father will never accept me, not now.” Loki sniffled as he tried to hold back the rest of his tears. Natasha turned in her seat to give Steve and Tony a look of sorrow. They looked at each other returning the look. Natasha wiped a tear from her eye.

“Brother, please try to understand. Your race does not change our bond. It does not change the experiences we went through as children and the bond we have built as brothers. Loki, I know you better than anyone else in the whole nine realms, including mother, I know how much you miss her. Know that she never stopped looking for you. She has checked every day with Heimdall and she never stopped. Father has tried to talk to her but she will rest well knowing that I am with you to keep you safe.” He knew that any good news about their mother would make Loki feel safe. 

Loki wiped a few tears from his face and looked up at Thor.   
“When we are done here, when your friends have helped us, I wish to return home. I want to see mother. She will keep me safe from them, won’t she brother?” He looked up at the older prince looking and sounding no more than a scared child. 

Tony couldn’t help but see some of his own troubled childhood in Loki. He knew what it was like to have a father that was never proud of him and to always be compared to someone else. He knew what was like to be captured and tortured by someone else, having to act against your will. He had numerous problems because of it and he couldn’t imagine the number that Loki must have. 

“Of course she will brother. She loves you more than anything and refused to talk to father for several months after what happened at the Bifrost. And if you let me, brother, I will also keep you safe. I will not let anyone harm you and I definitely won’t allow father to cast any kind of punishment onto you.” 

“Thank you, brother.”

The Quinjet landed on the helicarrier and the ramp opened. Steve told everyone to wait in the inside while he went to get Fury for Tony. He and Natasha took the scepter to the lab and alerted Fury that Loki was here and warned him to listen to Tony carefully. Curious as to why they had given him a warning, Fury decided it would be best to heed their advice because he was not in the mood for dealing with Tony when angry, or at all for that matter.


	4. Let Me Help You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings as usual

Let Me Help You

Tony watched closely as Fury approached the Quinjet and went outside to tell him what was going on.

“So then Stark, tell me why I should care about this maniac.” Fury asked mildly annoyed that he has had little information passed to him, from Rogers of all people. 

“That scepter of his was controlling him just like it’s controlling Barton. He was captured by some guy called Thanos, tortured and forced upon earth to do his bidding. The big blonde guy in there is his big brother, who thought that Loki had died following a suicide attempt, which is what led to his capture.” Tony said, only giving Fury the important information. “He agreed to come here with us and Thor under the condition that he was examined by Dr Banner. We came to the agreement that he would see him if his brother didn’t have to sit in on the examination. I thought that was reasonable enough.” Tony said telling Fury what was going to happen rather than awaiting orders from him. 

“What makes you think he isn’t still under the control of the scepter, Stark?” Fury asked sceptically. 

“He has been very co-operative with us and his brother has managed to talk to him about various things too and has agreed that he is acting normal again. Oh and then he almost jumped off a cliff. He took a big hit to the head and we think that it removed whoever was controlling him. He didn't want to get anywhere near the scepter after that, so we're pretty sure he's safe." Tony replied back to Fury.

“Alright.” Fury nodded. “I will take your word for this Tony. But I'm warning you, if he does anything threatening whilst he is here I will not hesitate to imprison him and hold you personally responsible.” Fury said pointing a finger towards Tony. Tony gave a mock salute back to Fury and led the two gods down the medical bay where Bruce was waiting for them. 

 

MED BAY

When they entered the medical bay, Bruce had already set up various pieces of equipment to examine the god.

“Will you be okay in here brother? Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Thor asked worried that his brother will be scared. 

Loki shook his head. “I will be fine brother. Please, go and talk to your friends so we can go home.” He replied and Thor nodded sadly. He didn't understand why his brother didn't want his support.

“You good, Brucey?” Tony asked the doctor, playing with a box of medical grade scalpels.

“Yeah, I’m fine Tony. You need to sort everything out. I’ll let you know if I need anything.” Bruce replied back to the scientist, whilst taking his box of scalpels back.

“Gotcha. Let me know when you’re finished with him.” Tony said with a quick wave before leaving the room with Thor.

Loki looked at Bruce nervously. “Who are you going to tell about what you see?” Loki asked quietly.

“Most of this information will be confidential. I will only tell Fury what is absolutely necessary. I will let you know what I will be telling him and if there’s something there you don’t agree with, let me know and we can discuss it. Okay?” The doctor replied, trying to keep Loki as calm as possible.

Loki nodded and sat on the edge of the hospital bed.

“Now, I’m going to need you to take all your clothes off for me so I can take a look at what damage they have done to you.” Bruce asked nicely, noticing the fear in Loki’s eyes he added. “Don’t worry. Nobody else can see and I’m not going to tell anyone else.”

Feeling slightly calmer, Loki used a simple spell that allowed his clothes to disappear with ease, saving time. He was left sitting in his underwear with his arms crossed against his stomach. 

Bruce started his examination at the head, making sure that the bump didn’t cause any serious damage and he made sure that Loki’s neck wasn’t damaged. He then done a quick check of the shoulders, looking for any obvious injury. After being satisfied that all was okay he moved down to Loki’s bruised chest. His examination found that Loki had several broken ribs with various scrapes and lacerations that had barely started to heal. Just as he was finishing up he noticed that Loki had both fresh and old looking cuts and scars on his forearms that he was trying to keep hidden. He sat down on his chair in front of Loki in an attempt to reassure the god. 

“Loki?” The doctor said in a calm manner. Loki looked up to face the other man. “Can you tell me what happened to your wrists?” Bruce didn’t want to make any accusations and upset the prince, but he wanted to be sure about his thoughts. Loki looked down at his arms, then back to Bruce and quickly made his clothes reappear. He shook his head, tears forming in his eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Loki kept his head down and played with the cuffs on his armour avoiding Bruce’s gaze. 

“It's okay, you don't have to tell me. Can you at least let me make sure these aren’t infected because some of these are very fresh.” Bruce was concerned about how new the cuts were and he could tell by the way the were placed and how straight they looked that they had been self-inflicted. Judging by Loki’s reaction, he doesn’t think that his brother knows about it. Loki shook his head.

“They’ll be fine.” he still unable to meet Bruce’s eyes.

“Well, the good news is that you seem to be mostly unharmed physically with just a few broken ribs, scrapes and bruises. You are malnourished though so we need to try and get some food in you. I am a little concerned about your wrists, but I don’t think Fury needs to know about that. Does that seem okay to you?” Bruce asked hoping that Loki would agree. 

He nodded his head slowly. “Thank you.” he whispered as he hopped down from the bed. Bruce had finished clearing up his medical equipment and sent a message to Tony letting him know that they were on their way up. 

 

FURY’S OFFICE

Thor was stood opposite Fury, trying to understand why the other man was looking so tired, while Tony was lazing around in one of Fury's chairs.

“So you can confidently tell me that your brother is no longer being influenced by this thing.” Fury asked looking frustrated at the days turn of events, he rubbed the bridge of his nose. 

“Yes. He has returned to his somewhat normal self.” Thor replied with a smile. 

“Somewhat normal does not inspire confidence, Hammer Guy.”

“Well, I say somewhat because he is not behaving as mischievous as normal, which is understandable given that he has been tortured for this long.”

Bored of how long this conversation was taking, Tony stood up. “Fury can we hurry this up so I can go home?”   
Fury shot Tony an annoyed look and he reluctantly sat back down with a sigh.

“I want you to stay at Stark Tower just for two days so we can make sure he’s definitely clear. Okay?” Fury asked.

Thor nodded solemnly. “I suppose we will have to agree. We will be allowed to leave after those two days, correct?”

“Come and go as you please after that for all I care as long as you stay out of my way.”  
Thor nodded and sat down next to Tony. After five minutes of waiting, Bruce and Loki can into the office. 

“Brother! How was it? Are you badly injured?” Thor asked jumping up from his seat and standing directly in front of Loki with a smile on his face.

“Calm yourself, brother. I am well, just a few broken ribs. They will heal with time.” Loki replied moving past his brother to sit down. 

“And what of your mind brother? You did not seem too pleased to see me and you wanted to jump off a cliff.” Thor knew he was risking an argument here, but he had to know how his brother was feeling. At least if he started to argue, he could see that the Loki he knew was still there. Bruce listened in closely about the whole jumping off a cliff thing. If he was to look after this guy for a few days, he needed to better understand his mental state.

"My mind has not been the way you remember it for a long time now, brother. I think we both know that what happened at the Bifrost was going to happen sooner or later, as much as you probably don’t want to admit it. Those thoughts and feelings have been a part of me for many hundreds of years. It just became too much.” He decided that there’d be no point in trying to lie now because Thor would just question it regardless. “What’s the plan then?” he had decided to ask. He wanted to know how soon he would be allowed to return home. 

Fury recounted the plan to Loki so he knew what was going to happen. When he agreed, Fury dismissed the men from his office and allowed them to leave, glad that he didn't have to babysit two gods with completely opposing personalities.


	5. The Support of Friends

Once the Quinjet had landed, everyone slowly and tiredly made their way into the main living area. Before anyone had a chance to go off Tony started talking. “So, since you two will be staying a few days, I got Jarvis to get you some rooms ready. Your rooms are on the floor above and will be opposite each other. Oh and Brucey, I had a little reshuffle in the lab too.” Tony was already leaving the room. “If you need help finding anything just ask Jarvis.” and with that Tony had left the living room and headed towards the kitchen.

Steve smiled kindly at the two princes. “I’m going to head off to bed, I’ll see you guys in the morning. Good night.” 

“See you later, Cap.” Bruce responded, sounding equally tired himself.

“Good night, Captain of America.” Thor responded a little to loud as Loki just smiled back politely. Steve headed to his room and left the two gods standing in the same spot with Bruce.  
“Trust Tony to leave his guests here alone. Come, I’ll show you to your rooms.” Bruce motioned with his hand for them to follow as he was leaving the living room.

They walked up the stairs and arrived outside of two bedroom doors. “Well, here you go. My lab is on the 5th floor if you need me. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” Bruce smiled kindly at the princes. “Good night.”

“Good night Doctor.” Thor shook Bruce’s hand firmly before letting him head off back down the stairs. Thor two brothers turned to face each other. Loki took a deep breath before speaking.

“I do not wish to be on my own tonight, brother. I do not think I will be able to sleep much with the memories of what has happened constantly replaying in my mind.” Loki tried hard not to let his tears fall, but Thor could see them building up. Thor nodded and gave Loki a quick hug.

“Worry not, brother, you can sleep in my room if you like. I do not want you to be scared.” He opened his bedroom door to see a large king size bed in the middle of his room. “See, there is plenty of room for us both.” He said looking at Loki, motioning for him to come into the room as well. 

They both made their way into the room and Thor closed the bedroom door behind them. Thor took off his boots and placed Mjolnir on the table that was at the end of the bed. He turned to face Loki and saw that he had sat down on the floor and was leaning against the bed. Thor could tell from the way his shoulders were moving that Loki was crying. 

“Brother? Please, tell me what is the matter?” Thor sat down next to his brother. 

Loki looked at Thor and wiped some of the tears from his eyes. “I am unsure of what to do, brother. I wish to see mother again but I do not want to see father. It is going to be painful to step foot on Asgard once again, but I’m not sure if I can stay here.” Loki let the tears fall down his face as Thor wrapped his muscular arms around him gently. 

“You do not have to return home straight brother. I am positive mother wouldn’t mind coming here to visit you instead if you would prefer. Heimdall has no doubt told her that you are alive.” Thor released Loki and helped him up on to the bed. “Would you like to stay here a little longer?” Thor searched his brothers face waiting for an answer.

Loki nodded his head. “I don’t think I am ready to return home yet.” 

“Then it is settled. I will arrange for mother to come and visit and I will have a word with the metal man about us staying here for a while.” Seeing Loki relax a little more, Thor got into his side of the bed and said goodnight to his brother before closing his tired eyes. 

Feeling slightly better, Loki closed his eyes to try and get some rest before the nightmares would plague his sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is such a short first chapter, but I wanted to put the whole of the next exchange into one chapter and this seemed the best place to separate them. I can promise you the next chapter will be quite a bit longer.


End file.
